First of all, what is individuation? Individuation is a process of separation from the identities that others have told you about who you are.  These processes are a self esteem activities because the process increases your self worth and self esteem by claiming your uniqueness and your values.  The more you know yourself and your unique voice and qualities, the more able you are to know your strengths and your limits and  the better to navigate in your world. There are four different individuation processes in these self esteem activities: 1. The first individuation process usually occurs... Read More

We’ve all lied at sometime.  We’ve all been lied to. We even lie to ourselves?  We believe in being honest, so…why do people lie?  The importance of communication can shed some light on this situation.  As teenagers, we probably have all lied to our parents at some point.  We lie to get our own way, but behind that is that we didn’t want to get a no or have our parents angry or upset with us.  As adults, we may lie to our personal and primary relationships. We lie in two ways: 1.  We lie to ourselves about ourselves.  We deny aspects or parts of ourselves because... Read More

Self esteem is believing in yourself.  It is saying to yourself and others – “I matter to myself.” It is the feeling of self-confidence, knowing you can do (or get the help to do) whatever it is you want to do. It is also self-worth, knowing you have value.  You do not need to prove your worth or earn your worth; you already have it. Self esteem activities help you build your feelings of self-worth and self confidence. So some  self esteem activities are: 1. One of the most important activities is how we talk to ourselves inside our heads, with no put downs.  Talk to yourself... Read More

Do you ever feel like everyone seems to take advantage of you? They seem to ‘take’ but rarely ‘give’ back to you when you need help?  It feels like a one way street! If you answered yes, then you need to build your self esteem up. You need some Self esteem activities. Self-esteem is about taking care of yourself.  It’s about learning to trust yourself.  Today, I’m going to write about three Self esteem activities. 1. Build your ability to say no. This means you just don’t say yes to everything.  Instead of  saying yes, I want you to stop and say... Read More

I want to talk about the importance of communication. So “How can  I  improve my communication, anyway? We all have times when communication has broken down, when we want someone to “read our mind”, but most people cannot read our minds. So, we need to be able to talk to others about what’s going on with us, and to ask for what we want, and to let people know when they effect our feelings. And this can be scary. It is sometimes easier  to get mad at someone for not at least guessing what we want rather than be         vulnerable and expose ourselves and later... Read More

Dear One, What is codependency?  Well…It can have different descriptions. Do you ever feel that you get lost in a crowd? When someone asks you what you think, you don’t know what you think? Do you easily pick up other people’s feelings and not know what you feel? Are you a really good listener but no one asks you what you think? Do  you always offer to help and  have difficulty accepting help from others? These are some signs of codependency. One simple technique to help create boundaries for yourself: 1. Imagine a bubble around yourself. 2. This bubble lets what you do want... Read More

Do yo find yourself always focusing on others and no one seems to listen to you? Have you ever been in a room and not find yourself? Or Do you find that when someone asks you what you think…. and you don’t know? Do you notice you pick up on feelings of others? These are a few signs of codependency to answer the question of what is codependency. So what can you do about this? One strategy to do is: 1. Focus on yourself and define you boundary. 2.Imagine a bubble around yourself. I like to imagine that it is like a bubble  that is like” mirror sunglasses” , You can see out... Read More